Bed Made of Flowers

Let’s pretend for a second that I used to take psychedelic drugs recreationally back in the day.

Often.

And let’s assume that those episodes did not interfere with my memory. 

So what do I know? I know that when taking these substances, in a warm, inviting environment either alone or with trustworthy fellow travelers (or guides) the chance of having a life-altering pleasurable experience is immense. 

I can see how having this option to look at the world through a different lens when at death’s door could be an incredibly peaceful way to endure the fear of the other side. 

Mine do, too. At least one of them. Luckily he doesn’t eat them from McDonald’s too often or I might want to melt him down and funnel him into my gas tank. That would surely help me pinch a penny with my gas guzzling Mom Van. 

On a side-note, I’m beginning to question Marion Nestle’s qualifications for gauging the long-term safety of a myriad of unpronounceable chemicals in foods directly marketed to children. 

From the annals of WTF, FDA?! comes an announcement sure to befuddle anyone with less than an elementary school education. 

I’m no scientist but I can’t imagine how ingesting a food source genetically tweaked to grow insanely big in a teeny tiny time frame could be healthy for a human body. I mean, never mind the fact that we’re screwing with nature and the environment but our bodies are all we’ve got. Why must we jam them with GMOs simply because the government and Biotech companies are hellbent on Franken-fying our fish?

Here’s a bet — in the very near future it’ll be almost impossible to identify whether your supermarket fish purchase came from planet Earth or a lab in New Jersey. 

Do you like lists? I do.

Remember the 90s? You were either not yet born, a child, an adolescent, a teenager, or an adult. Lots of people wearing deliberately ripped jeans and flannel, which meant chilly legs and warm arms. Music was at a crossroads and the economy was about to get pretty freaking wonderful for a lot of people who were given carte blanche to start a soon-to-be-failed start-up dot com. 

It seems like only yesterday.

Of course! This makes total and complete sense.

Count me among the millions of parents who get off on hearing how abnormal it is for infants to wake up through the night to breast feed (the horrors!!) or cry for some cuddles (freaking babies and their need for middle of the night touching!). Thank goodness we now have this study to tell us that not only should we hone our sleep training skills or else fail miserably as caregivers but that if we can’t stomach having to listen to our kids choke on their tears all night long, THEY’LL BECOME FAT ADULTS. 

Because it certainly couldn’t be something as obvious as eating too much crap too often combined with a lack of exercise, right?